Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Cinephile: Not always Happily ever after....

Cinephile: Not always Happily ever after....

Not always Happily ever after....

Five Films that made me laugh, cry and took me on a roller coaster of emotions, but ended on a sad note.

If you ever put a search words for best romantic films of all time, you'll come across films like The Notebook, Gone with the wind, Casablanca, My Fair Lady, Pretty Women and the list goes on and on. These films reaffirm you faith in love and redefines the passion and takes you on a journey where you face the trials and tribulations of love and romance. But while some end on the classic fairy tale where the boy gets the girl ( the scenario which changed with coming of films like The Brokeback Mountain and 'I can't think straight'), these so-called romantic doesn't always end on a happy note with the much awaited union. Presenting Five films that tread the path of typical romantic flick but don't end on a happy note.

5. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Romance, Western
Director: Ang Lee
Starring: Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhal,Anne Hathway

This film, one of the few movies dealing with same-sex love and the massive homophobia associated with it was critically acclaimed for its treatment of such a delicate issue. Two young cowboys a ranch hand and a rodeo embark on a shepherding experience in summer of 1969 in grasslands of Wyoming and strike up friendship and love affair that transcends boundaries and decades. Both are married with children but still are passionately in love with each other, and goes through the trials and tribulations of love. Sadly, their affair is exposed and with the massive homophobia reaping through the Southern states of United States in the early 60s, one of them Jack though said to be died in a vehicular accident, becomes the victim of gay bashing, as the lovers are separated forever.

Memorable moments: Their first union and Ennis's visit to Jack's parents home where he finds his blood stained shirt he thought he lost during their sheepherding adventure as he walks away into absolution.

4. Roman Holiday (1953)
Genre: Romantic comedy
Director: William Wyler 
Starring: Gregory Peck, Audrey Hepburn

This 1953 classic shot Audrey Hepburn to an instant fame as she won an Oscar for her portrayal of Princess Ann who escapes her country's embassy during her highly publicized world tour to experience the city of Rome and runs into a struggling reporter Joe Smith (played by Gregory Peck) who for the sake of safety takes her to his apartment not knowing that she's actually a Princess and his ticket to success. He realizes it later and decides to write an exclusive on her with the aid of his photographer friend Irving. They embark on a journey of Rome as both Joe and Irving secretly film her actions, but soon Ann and Joe in their day's journey fall for each other, but promises have been made as Ann returns to her monarchy and Joe goes back to his life, as they are separated forever.  

Memorable moments: The whole sigh seeing through the city of Rome and the final goodbye as Ann bids adieu to Joe and Rome in a press conference.

3. Gone with the Wind (1939)
Genre: Romance, Drama
Director: Victor Fleming
Starring: Clark Gable, Vivian Leigh

Epic, thats how Margaret Mitchell's 900 page book and the screen adaptation can be described.A love affair during the war ravaged America during civil war was the plot of this classic. Scarlett O' Hara (Vivian Leigh) a headstrong woman who is determined to woo Ashley Wilkes who's already married to kind-hearted Melanie does whatever she can, even it means entering matrimony to be close to him. During her mad rush she meets Captain Rhett Butler ( played by dashing Clark Gable), a roguish man whose manners are similar to Scarlett who's headstrong as her to woo her off her feet. Scarlett struggle through the war, her various affairs and her marriage to Rhett were the high points of the story. But as blind as Scarlett is after her struggle to make her end meet, she throws away the only true love she ever had, as Rhett leaves her, and Scarlett couldn't do anything about it.

Memorable moments: The film shot in Eastman colors is cinematically powerful with moments of war and destruction captured on a massive scale, along with scenes of plantation and Rhett's professing his love for Scarlett while going to fight in the war.The most famous lines: Frankly, my dear i don't give a damn.

2. Casablanca (1942)
Genre: Romance
Director" Michael Curtiz
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains

Lovers united and separated again, the theme runs high in this 1942 classic. Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) an exiled American and resistance fighter runs the most popular night joint in Casablanca, he doesn't believe in politics and is extremely cynical with an attitude of 'I stick my neck out for nobody', his world is left upside down when he runs into his former love Ilsa now married to a French underground leader. They plan to escape Casablanca together but in the end out of love towards Lisa and loyalty to the cause he lets the couple escape and sees to it that they are not in harms way. Its the ultimate sacrifice letting go to someone you love for their happiness.

Memorable moments: The noiristic airport sequence in the end with dialogues like Here looking at you kid and Of all the gin joints in the world she had to walk into mine.

1. Titanic (1997)
Genre: Romance
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Leonardo Di Caprio, Kate Winslet

This film as drawing from the title had disaster written all over it, winner of 11 academy awards a tale of two lovers belonging to different world as one is an aristocratic lady and other is a bum and struggling painter is an epic romance which ends with the voyage of Titanic. As the lovers are united they are separated due to fateful sinking of the ship as Rose Dawson (Kate Winslet) survives to narrate the story of her first love, who died with another 1600 on the fateful night of 12th January 1912.

Memorable moments: The last sequence where Rose throws the heart of the ocean and is united with her lover cheered by all those who perished in the sea. Title track 'My Heart will go on' by Celine Dion is a classic
 

   

Sweet Child O' Mine

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction, any resemblance to living or dead is purely co-incidental


SWEET CHILD O’ MINE

Denial
 Anger
Bargaining
 Depression
 Acceptance.   

We in medical college are taught about human anatomy, psychology, physiology etc, among other one of them is the ability to get over the loss of patients. We are trained to behave like doctors, we cannot afford to act as  concerned human beings; we are told that we are here to do our job, our job i.e. to save lives. Our concern should be to cure patients of their diseases and ailments trying to avoid any such bonding with the patients. That’s how we can be objective. But sometimes you come at a point when you are standing at crossroads whether to act as doctors or as human beings. We are taught about this theory of five stages of death, the sequence one goes through during the process of death. This is usually applied to terminally ill patients but soon this idea or this impractical theory would be applied on me.

As a third year interns, we are assigned clinic duties, and how much I dreaded it I’ve to do five hours of clinical work everyday. This is when I first met him, he came in the exam room bubbling with energy, his eyes had this sparkle of hidden mischief. The way he smiled. I knew he was one of those mischievous and noisy kids who run amok in the hospital screaming and shrieking. But he was none of those. He was happy and content and had this glimpse of satisfaction in his eyes. Most ten years old are not like that but he was different, it seemed to me the only person worried in the room was his mother. I looked up his chart and note that he was here for his regular checkup. He smiled and chatted throughout the exam, it was difficult for me to convince him to stop talking, to put the thermometer in his mouth. The only abnormality, I found was a growth in his neck. I suspected mumps and ran some tests. I told his worried mother there was nothing to worry about. But I had a hunch that somewhere something was very wrong.

The tests results were negative for mumps, during their next visit I told them about the findings, I thought may be it was a swelling, but the growth had protruded. I ran some more tests, during the next few weeks we bonded more and more, despite our age difference. We shared so many things, love for cartoons, playing pranks, comic books, annoying people etc. I never felt so free and close to anyone in my life, people say friendship needs time but our was based on bonding.

After running three consecutive blood tests, I asked them to refer the case to my supervisor and see whether he come with any possible suggestions. He suggested that Taj should be admitted and we should biopsy his lymph cells that scared me. I hoped and hoped for the best, but god always plays games with you. Taj was diagnosed with lymphoma, a cancerous growth in his lymph nodes. If treated in early stages it can be cured, but he had progressed to stage 3, there was nothing we can do, other than give him medications to relieve pain. He had at the most three months to live, when I delivered this news, his mother cried and cried while he was like a rock, unnerved, still smiling telling me atleast now I don’t have to worry about my holiday’s homework.                          

While Taj accepted the reality and was going through painful radiation and chemotherapy, I was in total denial. I still couldn’t accept the fact that he was dying. Why him? Why not someone else? There are old people who’ve lived their lives, why not chose them? Why this child? This lovely child, who still to begin the journey of life? Why god has to be so cruel? Why god, why?

I was angry with life, the hard realities of life. We are taught about medicines, how to diagnose diseases, but why can’t we evert the impossible, why can’t we save the ones whom we love, and care about?

I was depressed; each and every day, I was crying my eyes out while praying to the almighty to change this poor child’s fate, asking him to be reasonable. Begging him to show mercy. But like Taj, god was one tough nut to crack.

Taj got sicker day by day. Cancer, chemo and radiation the trio made a deadly combination and were taking toll on this kid, in two months he was reduced from a healthy kid to a human skeleton, but the smile. The smile never faded.

I was scared to meet him to see his face, he had no hair on hid head, that blonde haired boy was now bald, he wasn’t able to eat, and was on saline drip. He was coughing out blood all the time, how could I face him and assure him that everything was alright. I visited him on his birthday and gifted him the Tintin’s collection. I knew he wouldn’t be able to finish even one comic, as death lurked upon him, but he was beaming with joy promising me, that he will give me the collection as soon as he finishes. I held his hand and cried like a baby, a tear trickled down his cheek, he consoled me by saying, ‘It’s good, I’m going early Didi, even god needs company and furthermore I wouldn’t have to suffer from the miseries of the world. I held hid hand and read him Tin tin’s adventures. As the dawn broke, my little angel was gone, my pillar of strength had vanished, he will never come back. But what he taught me I would always remember, ‘ “love for others and live for others’, he taught me to live carefree. That was my Taj, that was ‘Sweet child o’ mine’.   

       


Love Hurts...


LOVE   HURTS

Seems like you can’t live without it,
It makes you feel good
You try everything
To stay in put.

Still sometimes you say things
Never meant to be said
And then there’s nothing left
But regret.

May be its not one thing but many
That made you irrational
Causing you to suffer
Making you miserable.

Is this what it is?
Is this what you get?
When you love someone

Why does love hurts?
Why can’t we get over it? 
I keep asking myself again n again
But still i am clueless
Cause I still fall in love
Knowing that its nothing but pain

But it’s the essence of life
Its what we live for
Knowing that every time
We fall in love
It makes us vulnerable
To be hurt again

Live free or die trying (autobiography of a bird)


Live free or die trying
(Autobiography of a bird)

I was born to live free
To embrace life
But fate had other plans
Cause I was raised among humans
And they made other plans

I was young and small
When they brought me in
I was all alone
Away from my kith and kin

They put me in a golden cage
I was condemned there for all my age
They gave me everything
Along with a fare share of abuse
I tried everything but
None was of any use

They mistook my actions
As defiance
Told me to stop
 or I’ll lose their reliance

I was choking
As my spirits died within
When I realized,
There’s only one way
To end this misery
I tried and tried so hard
Came close and yet so far

But one day I broke free
From my moribund cage
Now I can do what
I wanted to do all my age


But fate had other plans
As my joy was short-lived
I was shot down
I fell to the ground

I fluttered in pain
Thinking of my maiden flight
As I outlived my dream
And died trying….

Hurray, you popped your cherry...

Love is Blind




Desperation, that's what I called it not the desperation about getting laid or anything but finding true love, well but to no avail.Blind dates, dating websites, set-ups nothing worked, either they were extremely creepy like this guy i went out with who was so dumb while talking to me he entered ladies loo...pretty embarrassing actually, then there was this guy who refused to pay for dinner even after I paid for the movie tickets and then there was this guy who couldn't stop talking about his ex.It was pretty bad, and then i started going out with a friend of a friend he proposed i said yes, which unlike me. Next, you know I started getting kinky messages as he wanted to jump in bed with me, so i broke it off.

Then I started experimenting I started going out with chicks and found it was more in my comfort level. The first date I had with a girl who while we met told me she's already dating someone, which broke my heart as it ended my voyage before it set sail.I kept active in the dating scene, then I met someone who completely changed me as she left my world upside down. I met her through one of these websites, exchanged numbers talked on length on phone. She was a high-school student while I was a college graduate, we belonged to different social stature and from the beginning this relationship had disaster written over it, but it was a risk I was willing to take. It was love at first sight actually and I was ready to take a plunge in the world of love and was happy that I won't be single anymore.
And it damn hurts..
 She was the most amazing person I met, everything I wanted in my life, we had so many things in common love for rock music, she was a musician had a band played guitar, harmonica, drums, synthesizer and promise to compose a song for me each and everyday, I loved everything about her. I went to her place on our second date, as it was her birthday, her family was amazing no questions asked or anything. She showed me around invited me to her band practice, I felt like it was my birthday. Then she took me to her room, I was shaking in my shoes and then it happened we kissed, it was like the whole universe stopped as time froze...but the moment was short-lived as her mother walked in on us while we were doing the deed. But our happiness was short-lived as her father came to know about us and she broke off with me saying she loves her parents...so I had my first heart break and I hated it, but you have to better let go of someone than cause her pain and suffering.


Love is dead, Love is gone, love don't live here anymore(High Art 1999)
I went on couple of date more but there was no magic, I was still in love and was having hard time moving on. Then my approach towards life changed which I still can't believe. I stopped running after love and followed the usual trend prevalent among the youth of today, also known as 'Instant gratification'. I promised myself that if I ever pop my cherry I'll do it with a chick. Well on Christmas eve I did it. We met at her place and did it and it was really bad cause we were not in love. Though people have apprehension about sex especially between same sex, but it was bad cause we both weren't into each other (technically we were) but no mentally. She wanted make her ex jealous and i wanted to get laid. But she treated me well cooked for me and everything but the social experiment failed and affirmed my apprehensions about love and sex. I have becoming like those bastards who don't call after sleeping with you, may be its force of nature. May be better luck next time....

Out of the frying pan into the closet

I knew there was something different about me, since childhood, i picked race cars and cricket bat instead of cute little barbies and all the pretty little things a girl is love with in her childhood. As I hit puberty i had this passive aggressive attitude among men not that I am 'misandrist' but there was something that repelled them, or may be I was just blatantly dealing with loss of my good friends, who as soon they went to high school stopped hanging out with me then they hung out with guys, and got involved with them for the sake of it. I found myself secluded as I wanted to create a 'closet' of my best memories and wanted to live there forever as i thought more I wanted to protect myself from vulnerability the more hateful and resentful I became. So, I decided that this is one phase which I have to go through and watch my friends, indulging themselves in original sin as I stood there and witnessed the bashing reality of life.

By the time I was 17, I went through a major change, which i myself couldn't identify and define. While most of my friends got boyfriends and in their free time talked about themselves and their relationship, I loved observing girls, women their looks, movements, the way they behaved, everything about them enticed me, i couldn't identify myself with them but I loved observing them, that's when  started questioning my sexuality. Being a homosexual or belonging to the community of Gay, Lesbians, Bi-sexuals and Transgender was not an option for me since there was a massive homophobia amongst Indians, plus I didn't want to stereotype myself as straight or gay but one who's adventurous and wanted to experiment, call me bi-curious.

My friends never understood as I had to roam around wearing the straight girly 'girl' caper, which kinda sucked. I knew I am going to have a really tough time with my identity, but with the abolition of Article 377 which banned homosexual conducts and union, there's a glimmer of hope actually for all those who are out of closet or inside it like me. The only work which has to be done is to eradicate this massive homophobia as well as deal with my sexuality...