Untitled II

Lord you told me meek shall inherit the earth,
then how come i am lying face down biting dirt.
Every shred of dignity its all lost
look what i am left with what cost.

Shamelessly parading myself down the street,
Here i am all alone, cut open like a piece of meat
Thinking of those precious time i spend with you
Alas, its all gone now, there's nothing i can do.

So long my dear friend, i bid you farewell,
No need to get up now, don't be swell.
I won't take your precious time,
Hanging out with likes of us, its a crime.

You must be having places to go,
women to screw.
Oh i am sorry, i had a freudian slip,
Sex, for you is like catnip.
You have girls dancin on your fingertips,
All the pretty faces, swaying there hips.

Hope they are by your side,
when you put that key in the lock.
Hope they are by your side,
When you are strugglin with writer's block.

Quick Fuck

My dear brother, from another mother
Yes man, i am talking to you, Jay.
I wrote to you through post and mail,
I wrote them when i was doing time, was in jail.
May be i fucked up your address,
But good it didn't reach you
otherwise i would have regret it.

I was listening to the song you wrote
while shoving religion down my throat.
You said if you had a girl problem
I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

But trust me, one woman
is enough to mess your brain.
Remember Casablanca man,
Bogey almost missed his train.

She'll whisper nice things in your ear
Hold on man, lemme buy another beer.
My tale is sad one, it would need some boozing,
See my pupils are dilating now, the pain is easing.

Hey there stranger, let me buy you a drink,
You seem you are almost on the brink.
You see dear woman,
All i need is a quick fuck.
Forget you arms
I want your legs around me.

We just have to pretend to be lovers
Whatever transpires it'll be under covers.
Well she said good luck to you
I am sorry but butches i don't screw.

Oh geez! You are not gay that so sad,
But anyways giving me your number won't be so bad.
Lemme give you a call,
May be next time, we'll have a ball.
But till then i bid you goodbye,
Let me try my hand someplace else.
I ain't shy

Insecurities

I stand here all alone,
Unarmed sentry, bared to my bones.
The ones i loved they all left,
How can i report one, when there is no theft?

The colors of rainbow they all fade away,
Things i wouldn't even dare to say.
They say you're not part of us,
You're so bend.
You don't belong here,
When will it all end?

Ja chole ja oiye deshe
Tor bhalobasha chaina amar
Ki Dilli tui amaye ma
Dia kuch anhi tune mujhe
Lele wapas mujhe uss garbh mein

Love Hurts...

LOVE   HURTS

Seems like you can’t live without it,

It makes you feel good

You try everything

To stay in put.

Still sometimes you say things

Never meant to be said

And then there’s nothing left

But regret.

May be its not one thing but many

That made you irrational

Causing you to suffer

Making you miserable.

Is this what it is?

Is this what you get?

When you love someone

Why does love hurts?

Why can’t we get over it? 

I keep asking myself again n again

But still i am clueless

Cause I still fall in love

Knowing that its nothing but pain

But it’s the essence of life

Its what we live for

Knowing that every time

We fall in love

It makes us vulnerable

To be hurt again

Hurray, you popped your cherry...

Love is Blind

Desperation, that's what I called it not the desperation about getting laid or anything but finding true love, well but to no avail.Blind dates, dating websites, set-ups nothing worked, either they were extremely creepy like this guy i went out with who was so dumb while talking to me he entered ladies loo...pretty embarrassing actually, then there was this guy who refused to pay for dinner even after I paid for the movie tickets and then there was this guy who couldn't stop talking about his ex.It was pretty bad, and then i started going out with a friend of a friend he proposed i said yes, which unlike me. Next, you know I started getting kinky messages as he wanted to jump in bed with me, so i broke it off.

Then I started experimenting I started going out with chicks and found it was more in my comfort level. The first date I had with a girl who while we met told me she's already dating someone, which broke my heart as it ended my voyage before it set sail.I kept active in the dating scene, then I met someone who completely changed me as she left my world upside down. I met her through one of these websites, exchanged numbers talked on length on phone. She was a high-school student while I was a college graduate, we belonged to different social stature and from the beginning this relationship had disaster written over it, but it was a risk I was willing to take. It was love at first sight actually and I was ready to take a plunge in the world of love and was happy that I won't be single anymore.

And it damn hurts..

 She was the most amazing person I met, everything I wanted in my life, we had so many things in common love for rock music, she was a musician had a band played guitar, harmonica, drums, synthesizer and promise to compose a song for me each and everyday, I loved everything about her. I went to her place on our second date, as it was her birthday, her family was amazing no questions asked or anything. She showed me around invited me to her band practice, I felt like it was my birthday. Then she took me to her room, I was shaking in my shoes and then it happened we kissed, it was like the whole universe stopped as time froze...but the moment was short-lived as her mother walked in on us while we were doing the deed. But our happiness was short-lived as her father came to know about us and she broke off with me saying she loves her parents...so I had my first heart break and I hated it, but you have to better let go of someone than cause her pain and suffering.

Love is dead, Love is gone, love don't live here anymore(High Art 1999)

I went on couple of date more but there was no magic, I was still in love and was having hard time moving on. Then my approach towards life changed which I still can't believe. I stopped running after love and followed the usual trend prevalent among the youth of today, also known as 'Instant gratification'. I promised myself that if I ever pop my cherry I'll do it with a chick. Well on Christmas eve I did it. We met at her place and did it and it was really bad cause we were not in love. Though people have apprehension about sex especially between same sex, but it was bad cause we both weren't into each other (technically we were) but no mentally. She wanted make her ex jealous and i wanted to get laid. But she treated me well cooked for me and everything but the social experiment failed and affirmed my apprehensions about love and sex. I have becoming like those bastards who don't call after sleeping with you, may be its force of nature. May be better luck next time....