Hurray, you popped your cherry...

Love is Blind

Desperation, that's what I called it not the desperation about getting laid or anything but finding true love, well but to no avail.Blind dates, dating websites, set-ups nothing worked, either they were extremely creepy like this guy i went out with who was so dumb while talking to me he entered ladies loo...pretty embarrassing actually, then there was this guy who refused to pay for dinner even after I paid for the movie tickets and then there was this guy who couldn't stop talking about his ex.It was pretty bad, and then i started going out with a friend of a friend he proposed i said yes, which unlike me. Next, you know I started getting kinky messages as he wanted to jump in bed with me, so i broke it off.

Then I started experimenting I started going out with chicks and found it was more in my comfort level. The first date I had with a girl who while we met told me she's already dating someone, which broke my heart as it ended my voyage before it set sail.I kept active in the dating scene, then I met someone who completely changed me as she left my world upside down. I met her through one of these websites, exchanged numbers talked on length on phone. She was a high-school student while I was a college graduate, we belonged to different social stature and from the beginning this relationship had disaster written over it, but it was a risk I was willing to take. It was love at first sight actually and I was ready to take a plunge in the world of love and was happy that I won't be single anymore.

And it damn hurts..

 She was the most amazing person I met, everything I wanted in my life, we had so many things in common love for rock music, she was a musician had a band played guitar, harmonica, drums, synthesizer and promise to compose a song for me each and everyday, I loved everything about her. I went to her place on our second date, as it was her birthday, her family was amazing no questions asked or anything. She showed me around invited me to her band practice, I felt like it was my birthday. Then she took me to her room, I was shaking in my shoes and then it happened we kissed, it was like the whole universe stopped as time froze...but the moment was short-lived as her mother walked in on us while we were doing the deed. But our happiness was short-lived as her father came to know about us and she broke off with me saying she loves her parents...so I had my first heart break and I hated it, but you have to better let go of someone than cause her pain and suffering.

Love is dead, Love is gone, love don't live here anymore(High Art 1999)

I went on couple of date more but there was no magic, I was still in love and was having hard time moving on. Then my approach towards life changed which I still can't believe. I stopped running after love and followed the usual trend prevalent among the youth of today, also known as 'Instant gratification'. I promised myself that if I ever pop my cherry I'll do it with a chick. Well on Christmas eve I did it. We met at her place and did it and it was really bad cause we were not in love. Though people have apprehension about sex especially between same sex, but it was bad cause we both weren't into each other (technically we were) but no mentally. She wanted make her ex jealous and i wanted to get laid. But she treated me well cooked for me and everything but the social experiment failed and affirmed my apprehensions about love and sex. I have becoming like those bastards who don't call after sleeping with you, may be its force of nature. May be better luck next time....